The Adventure of Space, Time, Universe and Everything
by SashyBash
Summary: (This is our first story, is confusing please bare with us.) Sasha and Coffee start off as normal university students before they get dumped into different worlds and universes. Hold onto your screen as this ridiculous story comes to life. Hope you enjoy. :) (PS: There will be a lot of crossovers with anime, books, tv shows and movies, ect.)
1. Chapter 1 - Characters

**Synopsis.**

A story about two university students that find themselves under unusual circumstances hopping through time, space, universes and even dimensions.

(PS: This is a ridiculous amount of fandoms and crossovers please bare with us. :D)

 **Characters.**

 **Name:** Sasha Tuner.

 **Alias:** Sashy, SashyBash, Lucifer, Sherlock.

 **Age:** 21.

 **Known worlds:** Amnesia, Batman~(Joker), Black Butler, Black Cat~, Crossbones, Darker than Black~, Day Z, Death Note, Dragon Age, DNAngel, Dying Light, Incredibles, Firefly, Fruits Basket, FullMetal Alchemist, Harry Potter~, How To Train Your Dragon, Kingdom Hearts, Left 4 Dead 2, Naruto, Orange is the New Black, Ouran High School Host Club, Psycopass, Sherlock, Shugo Chara, Soul Eater, Supernatural, Terry Pratchett~, Team Fortress 2.

 **Name:** Charlie Irish

 **Alias:** Coffee, Steve, Gabriel, Castiel, Watson,

 **Age:** 20

 **Known worlds:** Batman~, Black Butler, Black cat, Death note~, DNAngel~, Doctor Who, Dying light~, Incredibles~, Firefly, FullMetal Alchemist~, Harry Potter, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy~, How to train your dragon, Kingdom Hearts~, Left4dead2~, Once upon a Time~, Ouran high school host club, Sherlock, Stargate, Star trek, Supernatural, Terry Pratchett~, Team Fortress 2~, The Avengers, The Dresden Files~, The Walking Dead~, Torchwood, Xmen~


	2. Chapter 2 - What's a Stargate?

_This is such a boring lecture._ Charlie sighed as she looked up from the table and at the lecturer. _No, I've got to focus!_ She thought staring at his face and tuning back into the lecture.

"And that leads us on to marsupials…." She caught him saying.

 _Wait, what? Marsupials? what is this guy talking about…. great… I zoned out again…. I wonder…._ She looked up and saw Sashy slumped over on the table, slowly slipping into unconsciousness. _Oh great… can't even ask her…. now what…._ Charlie looked up again, staring around the room, there were plenty of other students sat in their seats paying attention and furiously scribbling. _Who are all these people…. I've not seen many of them before…. I'm sure I'm in the right room…_ She looked at her diary that was laid out on the desk in front of her, it was covered in half-hearted notes and scribbles but clearly noted was the room and time of the lecture. _Yeah, right room…. but…. what is this guy on about?_ She shook her head and looked around the room again. It was like looking at robots, the way they all sat there, scribbling away. There was only one other person not writing away, he was sat at the back of the room, playing on his phone, as per usual…. _Don't even know how he got in here…. Okay, let's try one more time to pay attention. I can at least write some notes, then it won't be a total waste being here!_ Charlie thought looking back to the lecturer.

"The system to which the…." the lecturer continued when suddenly there was a sound similar to that of an earthquake, a rumbling, groaning sound, the fire alarm started blaring. "Okay everyone, leave in an orderly manner." The lecturer said, grabbing his things and sprinting from the room. _Clearly he doesn't want to be in here._ Charlie thought, shaking Sasha awake, whilst haphazardly shoving her stuff in her bag.

"Sasha, wake up." Charlie sighed, giving Sasha one last shove. "We need to go."

Sasha jumped and tensed a little, realising she had indeed closed her eyes and possibly for the entire lecture. _Wait...is that an earthquake?..._ She thought as she realised there was a different reason as to why they should be leaving the room.

"...Huh? We don't get earthquakes in Wales..." With a raised eyebrow she glanced to Charlie before shrugging and shoving her stuff in her bag. She was never one to be without her stuff, the building could be burning but she'd still make sure to grab everything rather than just leaving.

"Did I miss anything important?" She asked as she joined the end of the crowd of people leaving the lecture hall.

"If you did, I did too… any idea what would cause an earthquake?" Charlie asked, hastily throwing her jacket on whilst moving through the crowd. "Though, I think I recognise that noise…" Charlie frowned to herself and glanced over to Sasha who shrugged. "Oh well, let's just get out of here" Charlie added.

"What noise?" Sasha left the classroom and headed for the stair that everyone seemed to forget about. She took the steps two by two before leaving the fire exit.

"Where the heck are you going?" Charlie questioned, realising that Sasha was not following her and heading back towards where she last saw Sasha. _Not again, seriously, would it kill her to not run off?_ Charlie sighed to herself, catching up with Sasha as she raced down the stairs.

"I have no idea why we'd have an earthquake...it just doesn't make se-…." Notices Charlie behind her. "Come on Coffee, keep up."

"Fine, okay, I'm here!" Charlie sighed. _Not like I'm not used to having to find you.._ She added mentally with a sigh, still walking up to Sasha.

"What do you thin- ahhhhhh! Omf." As the stairs seemed to vanish since Sasha wasn't paying attention to the gaping hole where the end of the stairwell used to be. Luckily the drop was only about 10ft to the next level which happened to be the basement, where all the old lab equipment was usually stored.

"Sasha…" Charlie called, going to the edge and looking down into the hole. "You dead?"

"...Owwwwwwwww…." Sasha groaned and winced as she tried to move, gritting her teeth in pain.

"Oh, not dead…. okay then!" Charlie said brightly, smiling to herself.

"I think I broke my leg...shit."

"Well, at least it's not your ankle!" Charlie stated whilst untying the tassels on her jacket and knotting them together, making a short and yet very unsafe rope. Sasha pulled her lips tight together with a displeased grimace and grumbled to herself. She shifted to sitting up position with a lot of effort and looked to her leg.

"Actually, I don't see any blood...and I'm not screaming in pain. I don't think I broke my leg maybe just badly bruised." Sasha lifted up her trouser leg to get a better look, just seeing a lot of bruising on her calf. Suddenly a body dropped from the floor above and landed right on top of Sasha with an audible crack. Sasha screamed and ended up flat on her back, tears welling up from the sheer amount of pain. Charlie shook her head, a bit dazed from the fall… _Damn it, my rope broke…. Oh wait… Shit…. What did I land on?_ Charlie thought and realised the source of the screaming.

"Shit!" Charlie scrambled away from Sasha. When Charlie got off Sasha slowly curled in on herself with a hiss of pain.

"Are you….trying to kill me…?" She strained through grit teeth, cradling her stomach with her hands.

"..." Charlie replied, looking sheepish. "Sorry…" she added and glanced around the room, there was a door a few feet away and opposite the hole in the wall, there was a large ring about the size of the room. "I recognise that… but where from?" She muttered to herself.

"Recognise what?" Sasha asked with a growl.

"Never mind… I'm going to try and find a way out of here." Charlie said and walked through the door that she had seen earlier. Inside the room, there was strangely what looked like an egyptian sarcophagus. Charlie frowned and walked towards it, she touched one of the hieroglyphs…. the thing sprang open and she jumped back with a squeak.

"Coffee? You okay?" Sasha called from her place in the other room, the pain was still bad, but she was coping… sort of… she shifted and hissed as she tried to look through the door with no avail.

"I'm okay… but I think I've found a way to fix you up!" Charlie called back, staring at the sarcophagus for a second before returning to Sasha.

"How are you going to help?" Sasha asked suspiciously. While Coffee was learning Biology it wasn't quite the same as Human Biology or Medicine...

"I found a sarcophagus, they have healing properties. I knew that I recognised the noise… it's a freaking stargate." She added helping Sasha up, Sasha cried in pain but managed to get up on her feet and used Charlie for support.

"A...sarcophagus…? Like dead people…and mummification…?" Sasha asked confusedly.

"Just let me get you in the sarcophagus." Charlie sighed and helped her into the sarcophagus.

"Wait what?! No no no no. I'm not sleeping with the dead people!" She pulled away only to fall on her butt with a yelp. She looked between Coffee and the sarcophagus with a worried glance.

"Once you get out of there, you'll be good as new, trust me!" Charlie said with a smile as she helped Sasha back to her feet.

Sasha glances cautiously inside the sarcophagus, relieved to find no mummies inside, then she blinked.

"Wait….did you say stargate?..." She looked back to Coffee questioningly.

"Ugh… yeah?... I did… you actually recognise that?" Coffee asked staring at Sasha in a bit of shock…. Sasha rarely understood any Sci Fi references… ever….

"I've heard the name...Sci Fi isn't it?" Names of Sci Fi's she knew mainly because people whined at her to go watch them, she never did though.

"Yup, should watch it sometime, it's really good…. wait… you're just distracting me!" Charlie growled and gave Sasha a shove which made her yelp in reply.

 _~With Sasha~_

It was surprisingly bright in the sarcophagus as if it was lit from the inside. Sasha blinked to adjust her eyes to the change of light intensity, her aches and pains were slowly going away.

 _~With Charlie~_

Charlie waited… _the sarcophagus in the series always took forever_ she thought with a sigh. Sasha would be fine once the sarcophagus did its work. Suddenly there was a noise behind her. She whirled around and caught a glimpse of gold… with a gasp she slipped behind the sarcophagus and hid. _Shit! Shit! Shit!... a Goa'uld…. shit…._ she thought looking behind her, there was one other way out…. away from the goa'uld…. but she would have to leave Sasha…

 _~With Sasha~_

Sasha grimaced as she felt her body healing, it wasn't a pleasant process. She felt her bones moulding back together slowly.

"How long is this thing going to take Charlie?" She spoke through gritted teeth. The silence that hung in the air wasn't promising so she banged under the lid. "Hey Charlie! You still there?" There were noises coming from outside the sarcophagus and Sasha banged harder. "Hey! What's going on?!"

 _~With Charlie~_

If Charlie heard Sasha in the sarcophagus, the Goa'uld would surely hear her banging too. Seeing no other way out Charlie scampered across the floor and out of the chamber, praying that the Goa'uld didn't notice as she skidded across the tiles. She picked up speed and started running, sliding once or twice as she turned the corners. She didn't know where she was going or even which way she was running all she knew was that she just had to get out of there. At the last corner her legs slid out from under her and she came to a stop, smack bang into something solid. "Ouch." She groaned, trying to sit up and rubbing her sore side.

 _~~~~~~Meanwhile, back in the sarcophagus chamber.~~~~~~_

"Hey! what's going on?!" Sasha shouted a second time and the sarcophagus cracked open. She squinted at the change in light intensity and blinked to see a fairly regal looking man wearing what looked like an old Egyption style armour. His eyes shone gold as he spoke.

"You have desecrated the sarcophagus!" Fury in his eyes as he glared down at the human.

"...Uhh...sorry?" She raised her eyebrow when she noticed his unusual clothing, then glanced to the two humanoid people that stepped out behind him. Two more armoured men stalked up either side of the angry man, stopping behind their lord. One of them had what looked to be a recreation of a golden serpent head, while the other simply had a golden symbol in the middle of his four had.

"My lord?" One of them asked noticing the human within the sacred sarcophagus. Sasha slowly raised to her elbows. There was no pain, surprisingly, but she didn't question it. She looked between the figures and they stared back at her in silence.

"...So...what-.."

"Take her." Said the 'Lord'.

"...Wait, what?!" Sasha sat up fully as the one that spoke stepped back for the other two to step closer. They reached out and she growled, slapping their hands away. "I don't think so, ass hats." The Jaffa hesitated but then persisted, they would not fail their lord, they both grabbed Sasha and struggled to get her out of the sarcophagus. "Hey! Let go! Don't make me bite you!" The Jaffa shared a look with each other, sighed and followed their Lord out of the room. They continued down the corridor with Sasha's struggling before she lowered her head to a hand wrapped around her wrist and bit down hard.

The Jaffa yelled out and let go, Sasha used this to rip her wrist out of the other's hand and make a run for it. Only to be whacked hard across the back of the head with a Jaffa staff, knocking her out cold. The unconscious body hit the floor with a thud before being lifted up over on of the Jaffa's shoulders to continue on down the corridor.

 _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back with Coffee~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Charlie started to move, slowly standing from her position on the floor where she hit the wall. It was a dead end corridor with only one door and the main corridor back where she came from. She could hear footsteps coming from the corridor behind her and scrambled up to try the door next to her. She slipped through it trying not to make any noise, knowing the university they wouldn't have oiled the doors down there in forever. She pulled the door but it wouldn't shut fully without making a loud noise so she left it slightly ajar, hoping that whoever or whatever was coming wouldn't notice it. The footsteps drew closer and she held her breath watching as the Goa'uld and two armour clad Jaffa walked past carrying what looked like an unconscious Sasha.

"Shit." She cursed under her breath.

 _~~~End chapter 1~~~_


	3. Chapter 3 - The Kickstarter

_~~~~~~~~~~~With Coffee~~~~~~~~~~~_

Charlie waited a few minutes to be sure that they had gone before opening the closet and sprinting back down the corridor in the opposite direction from the Jaffa. _There's got to be a way out…. and not with them!_ She thought as she ran only to slam into something solid.

"Damn!" She cursed as yet again she fell to the floor.

"Hey kid, you okay?" Asked a vaguely familiar voice. Charlie looked up to see four people. All wearing military uniforms and had in their possessions what looked like machine guns. _Ah...this could be worse..._ She thought but blinked when she saw the symbol on their uniform, which was a triangle with a small circle at the top point of it. The youngest of the group, a brown haired guy wearing large roundish glasses offered Charlie a hand. She took it as he helped her up to her feet.

"Thanks" She said with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" The only woman of the group questioned with her blue/gray eyes and short pixie-like blonde hair.

"Uhh...my friend….. they were kidnapped!" Charlie exclaimed. They looked between each other before the woman spoke again.

"By who?"

"The Goa'uld" Charlie replied. The group blinked in confusion.

"How do you know about the Goa'uld?" The older of the group spoke, he had short greying hair and dark brown eyes.

"Uh…. I'm uh… a trainee from SG...16..." Charlie stuttered an attempted lie, it almost sounded more like a question than a statement. The older man raised an eyebrow skeptically and questioned to the others.

"We have a SG16?"

"Scientific…" Charlie spoke up.

"I've not met anyone from SG16 before." The youngest of the group muttered.

"...Anyway...my friend…?" She reminded, trying to steer the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"Of course, if the Goa'uld are here we should find somewhere to come up with a plan." The older guy stated.

"You mean like a classroom?" Charlie questioned.

"That could work" He replied.

 _~~~Later still with Coffee~~~_

The group were sat in a lecture hall. Jack, which turned out to be the older guy, was stood at the front with the projector lighting up behind him a map of the school. The other guys sat/leaned up against tables listening to what he had to say.

"So, we know their ship is here which means they'll be wanting to put their ring up high and most likely on a roof." He turned to the computer and pressed the 'plus' sign on the keyboard before looking back to the screen. Nothing happened. He blinked and tried again to no avail, he growled under his breath in frustration and starting pressing other buttons on the keyboard. "Damn it, how can I get it to zoom in?" He continued to press buttons, accidentally minimizing the window.

Charlie watched for a moment, holding in a smile, before hesitantly walking over she reached out to the keyboard. Jack stood back and watched with a frown as Charlie reopened the window and zoomed in to the map to see the buildings roofs. Everyone watched in silence as Charlie returned to sitting on a table. Jack cleared his throat to continue.

"Thank you. Well it looks like the flattest roof they can get onto is here." He pointed to the building adjacent to the one they were in. "From there, we can get to the transport ring possibly having to fight through some Jaffa to get there. Once on the ship we...save people?..." The room was quiet again until Sam, the lady, sighed and took over.

"Once on the ship we'll split up to search for Charlie's friend, Jack and I will try to get to the bridge. We need to get this ship away before they can cause more damage and risk exposure. Teal'c and Daniel, you guys will work on finding Charlie's friend, most likely place will be in the dungeon if not then the labs." She paused for a moment to look at Charlie and Charlie looked at her expectantly. "Charlie...you...stay here and try to keep out of sight. Leave it to us we'll find your friend." Charlie's shoulders sagged with a pout on her face, but grudgingly accepted it.

 _~~~~~~~~~With Sasha~~~~~~~~~~~_

Sasha groaned as she stirred awake. It took a few moments for her to catch up with what just happened, she thought through it to try to make sense through the raging headache. They were in lesson, then an earthquake happened and she fell down the stairs, then Coffee landed on her breaking her ribs, then there was this egyptian coffin with hieroglyphs on it, and then there was the weird, bossy 'Lord' of some sort that took her….and then she passed out in her attempt to get away.

She frowned, peeking her eyes open and trying to sit up only to find herself bound to a table. She tried struggling against the bindings, they wouldn't budge. A Jaffa came into the room and scowled at Sasha who growled in return.

"Quiet!" The Jaffa snapped and slammed his staff weapon into Sasha's head.

 _~~~Later still with Sasha~~~_

Sasha came back into consciousness to find that her bindings were tighter than before.

"Fuck my life!" She cursed, wriggling as much as she could to try and loosen the bonds to no avail.

" _It_ is awake, Sire" A voice said and Sasha growled again. A group of Jaffa stomped into the room, followed by a golden serpent headed guy.

" _It_ tried to escape again, so we had to subdue _it_...again." The closest jaffa to the golden serpent headed guy spoke.

"I have a fucking name thanks Asshats!"

" _It_ has a bad temper and constantly fights against us." The Jaffa spoke again.

"I will tear you a new one, you-...!"

"SILENCE!" The room became deathly silent, including Sasha which was impressive, but it didn't last long as she narrowed her eyes and growled at him. The golden serpent helmeted thing the voice came from stepped closer to Sasha. The top of the head folded back and the helmet piece folded in on itself until there was only a ring around his neck left. Sasha continued to glare unphased by the moving contraption on the guys head.

He had chocolate coloured skin with dark, slightly golden eyes and a golden...something that looked like swimming cap? He looked down to the human on the examining table unimpressed. Sasha stared at him for a moment before her lips twitched and cracked into a smile, then spread into a grin and before she knew it she couldn't contain the laughter. This made the Goa'uld frown deeper which only made the girl laugh harder.

"You should have kept the helmet on…" Sasha giggled. "...because your face…" She burst into laughter again, which caused the Goa'uld to widen his eyes with anger and start to glow golden.

"SILENCE TAU'RI!" His deep voice echoed through the large room. Sasha stifled the laugh and looked confused a little but still retained a smirk.

"I'm a what now?" Satisfied that Sasha had stopped laughing at him his eyes dulled again and he grunted, turning his back to her.

"Bring the symbiote." He commanded.

"The what now?" The Goa'uld continued to ignore the human as a Jaffa came forward with a jar containing an eel like creature that Sasha had never seen before. It had red eyes on either side of it's head and mouth pieces split into four horrifying looking spines. Sasha pulled a disgusted face and made a puking sound. "What the fuck is that?"

"Restrain her." Another command that was followed out by two Jaffa grabbing her head, which instantly made Sasha start struggling again. They brought the jar closer and started unscrewing.

"Oh no no no no no no. What the fuck is it!? Urgggggh. Get that the fuck away from me!" They ignored her cries and poured the contents of the jar over her stomach, soaking her midriff. The eel thing slithered towards her face, Sasha clamped her mouth shut and screamed disgustedly through closed lips.

A Jaffa tried to yank her jaw open for the waiting symbiote earning himself a hard bite, he yelled out in pain as she clamped her mouth shut again.

"Either you open your mouth or we'll find other orifices to insert the symbiote into." Sasha's eyes widened at the thought of where the thing could go and after a few moments hesitation she opened her mouth, horrified look plastered on her face as the symbiote dived into her mouth and started burrowing through her to get to the spinal cord and brain case. Sasha gagged and spluttered , tears running down her face with both pain and disgust as the world darkened around her into nothingness.

 _~~~ Back to Coffee.~~~_

It wasn't long after the stargate crew left that Charlie started following after them. She knew the school and all the shortcuts and also where they were going. She kept at a slow pace though to make sure the crew deal with the Jaffa guarding the gate. Poking her head out of the roof door she was just in time to see SG1 vanish and the rings float back up to the ship. She also noticed the two dead Jaffa either side of the transportation ring.

She glanced around to make sure there was no one there before hurrying over to the dead bodies and searching through their stuff.

"...Zat, mine...Pain stick, mine...shock grenade, also mine...staff, mine…" She paused after putting things in her pocket and looked at the armour. "..." Then began undressing the Jaffa. "...Armour, extra mine...uh so they do have boxers." She commented as this poor dead Jaffa laid there in his underwear. Now she could roughly pass off as a Jaffa she stepped into the transportation ring and pressed a button on the armour. Five rings came down from the ship and started spinning around Charlie. Then in a moments notice she was on the ship.

"Okay...well that was anticlimactic…" She appeared to be in a large golden room with hieroglyphs on the wall. "Definitely a Goa'uld ship." While she had watched a lot of stargate in her free time she'd only just realised there wasn't many shots of the inside of a Goa'uld ship and didn't know the layout of said ship. "This was a bad plan." She muttered to herself before shrugging and heading off down one of the corridors.

 _~~~Later still with Coffee.~~~_

"I think I've been down here before…" Charlie looked down both ends of the corridor. "...Balls." Suddenly a blast narrowly misses her head and she yelps and spins around to see Sam and Jack from SG1. She put her hands up dropping the Jaffa staff to the floor. "Wait wait, it's me!"

"Charlie?..." Sam lowered her weapon and frowned. "I thought I told you to stay hidden in the university?" She scolded. Charlie grinned and rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle.

"...Well...I got bored?..." Sam's frown deepened with disappointment.

"You should have stayed where it was safe." Charlie blinked as she saw movement behind the two. "You're not trained to fight." Charlie tilted her head and blinked. "If you got hurt it would end up being our fault-..."

"Uhh… guys…"

"No Charlie. You need to follow orders or you could seriously endanger people."

"No seriously, guys you need to-..."

"It's rude to keep interrupting people. Because of you we need to head back down to the building which is endangering your friend and our other teammates-..." Charlie couldn't wait any longer and picked up the staff weapon on the floor and charged screaming between the two, bringing the weapon down on a sneaking Jaffa's head. There was a lifeless thud and the two SG members blinked and paused in a moment of silence.

"I was going to say there was a Jaffa sneaking up on you, but you were to busy lecturing me on being 'safe'..." There was another awkward moment of silence. Charlie looked between the two and Jack smiled ever so slightly.

"You did good kid, let's go we don't have a lot of time." Jack spoke before heading off, Charlie grinned at the praise and followed behind. Sam sighed before rolling her eyes and also following. They continued through the ship, checking every room and around every corner. Every Jaffa they came across was quickly dealt with.

"So is your friend a part of Stargate Command too?" Jack questioned after their latest kill. Coffee took a moment to think before replying.

"Not yet, I was sent to recruit her."

"Oh, so how much does she know about...all of this?"

"...Nothing…" She knew Sasha hadn't watched any of the stargates but had done some larp, even then though she didn't know much. "...they took her before I could explain."

"Jeez they recruiting people from universities now?"

"Best place for an open mind I guess?" Jack grunted before replying.

"So you were sent specifically to get this girl from university with no army training to join a stargate team? what makes her so special?"

"Uh...well she is trained in ninjutsu…"

"What?" They turned a corridor that had a door at the end of it. "Nevermind I think we're in the middle of the ship, I'd imagine behind that door are a lot of Jaffa so please stay behind us."

"Okay." Charlie took a step back to let them go ahead. Jack and Sam had their guns to the ready as they counted silently to three and barged open the door.

On the other side of the door there was a lot of Jaffa, although they were all on their knees facing a golden throne. Upon that throne was a draped, grinning brown haired girl with a serpent scepter in her right hand and a ribbon device on her left. She had her legs over one of the arm rests and looked fairly comfortable where she was.

Sam and Jack cautiously stepped forward with their guns at the ready and pointed at the girl on the throne. Charlie poked her head to lookin to the room and blinked.

"Sasha?..." The girl tilted her head up to look between the three intruders and her grin grew but then blinked staring at Sam for a moment before speaking again.

"Wait, what the hell is Naomi doing here?"

 _~~~End Chapter 2.~~~_


End file.
